Toyota Middle East have received no complaints from Bahdobian residents, despite reports of faulty accelerators and brakes pouring in from the rest of the world.
Kazinori Yamamoto, Chairman of Toyota Middle East, reassured Bahdobian based Toyota owners today, saying that none of the Toyota models sold in the region appeared to be affected by the accelerator and brake issues that plaguing models sold elsewhere in the world.
Toyota owners in the UK and US, for example, have complained of pedals becoming stuck during accelerating and braking.
'This issue does not affect our customers in Bahdobian,' said Yamamoto. 'At least, that is to say, noone has comprained.'
Local commentators pointed out that a lack of official complaints did not necessarily mean that the problem did not exist.
David Pringle, a British expatriate, commented that local driving habits could be the reason that noone has noticed problems with their Toyotas.
'There does seem to be a problem with people accelerating seemingly uncontrollably, before coming to a screeching halt at the last minute,' he said. 'This seems to affect most large SUVs with tinted windows, however - it doesn't seem to be Toyota specific.'
Ali M, a Bahdobian national, said that whilst the accelerator on his FJ Cruiser regularly appeared to get stuck, he thought that this was 'a feature, rather than a bug'.
'I drive to the capital every day for work, at a busy government department,' he told the Bahdobian Herald. 'As soon as I join the main highway, the car leaps forward, forcing me to spend the next hour weaving in and out of the lanes, flashing my headlights and doing all what I can to avoid the other cars driving so slow at the speed limit. Honestly speaking, I enjoy it. Moreover, I drive fast but I drive safe.'
Ali said that the accelerator would stick after he had accelerated to 180Km/h and pressed the button marked 'Cruise Control'. Whilst his brakes usually ensured he would be able to stop in time to take the main exit ramp for the capital, he was frequently chose to stop his car by ploughing into a Nissan Sunny or Mitsubishi pick-up.
Despite Toyota's optimism, increased awareness of potential issues appears to be motivating customers to air complaints. Mr VJP Kutty, an Indian expatriate, reported that driving his 6 year old Echo filled him with a burning desire to drive slightly below the speed limit in the middle lanes of Bahdobian's modern highways.
'I can't help it, ' he said. 'As soon as I've placed my construction site hard hat on the parcel shelf, filled the car with 5 other colleagues and started to make a phone call, some sort of ether starts emitting from the dashboard. I become mesmerised and feel forced to avail the middle lane, regardless.'
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, September 28, 2009
Grunt 'allo' and watch sales rise
Gulf professionals have voted for their preferred way to answer the phone – and grunting 'allo' at anyone who calls is at the top of the list.
The results of the survey carried out by Mackenzie and Shah, a marketing and sales consultancy, give clear guidance to local businesses when it came to phone etiquette.
David Pringle, a Senior Consultant with the group, said that the findings made it clear that mumbling, grunting, or spitting out 'allo' was the professional choice when picking up.
'Conventional wisdom might suggest that it makes sense for a salesman to answer his phone by saying his name, for example. Equally, if that sales person knows who's calling, he might answer by politely greeting the caller by name and asking him how he is,' said Pringle. 'We also thought that people calling a business would have liked similarly clear phone answering technique.'
'That might be the case in other parts of the world, but it doesn't fit here. Grunting 'allo' down the phone, regardless of who is calling, was universally seen as the most professional option.'
Pringle said that the results spoke for themselves and that businesses should take note.
Another aspect of regional phone answering that got under respondents' nerves was people who ask clear questions and wait for answers.
'People don't like it,' added Thomas Joseph, a respondent, who said that he often needed to call businesses for both work and personal reasons. 'Whether I'm calling the laundrette, my lawyer or my stockbroker, I want the caller to answer with a grunted 'allo' and then proceed to shouting 'tell me' or 'hello' repeatedly, whilst ignoring whatever I am saying.'
Ali M, a property sales consultant, said that he had spent a lot of time perfecting his grunts. 'Most people who call me are international real estate executives looking to pour billions into local projects. If I didn't burp 'allo' down the phone at them in a disinterested and bored fashion, they might call someone else instead. My profits could evaporate.'
Mackenzie and Shah are planning more surveys over the coming months, the results of which they also expect to buck convention and to show what Gulf consumers really want.
Next on their list is a poll focusing on car owners – with the majority of owners expected to prefer their local distributors not to keep common parts in stock. The reason? Waiting six weeks for a windscreen wiper to be delivered from Germany and paying a fortune for the privilege is 'all part of the fun of car ownership in the Gulf' – or so respondents are expected to confirm.
The results of the survey carried out by Mackenzie and Shah, a marketing and sales consultancy, give clear guidance to local businesses when it came to phone etiquette.
David Pringle, a Senior Consultant with the group, said that the findings made it clear that mumbling, grunting, or spitting out 'allo' was the professional choice when picking up.
'Conventional wisdom might suggest that it makes sense for a salesman to answer his phone by saying his name, for example. Equally, if that sales person knows who's calling, he might answer by politely greeting the caller by name and asking him how he is,' said Pringle. 'We also thought that people calling a business would have liked similarly clear phone answering technique.'
'That might be the case in other parts of the world, but it doesn't fit here. Grunting 'allo' down the phone, regardless of who is calling, was universally seen as the most professional option.'
Pringle said that the results spoke for themselves and that businesses should take note.
Another aspect of regional phone answering that got under respondents' nerves was people who ask clear questions and wait for answers.
'People don't like it,' added Thomas Joseph, a respondent, who said that he often needed to call businesses for both work and personal reasons. 'Whether I'm calling the laundrette, my lawyer or my stockbroker, I want the caller to answer with a grunted 'allo' and then proceed to shouting 'tell me' or 'hello' repeatedly, whilst ignoring whatever I am saying.'
Ali M, a property sales consultant, said that he had spent a lot of time perfecting his grunts. 'Most people who call me are international real estate executives looking to pour billions into local projects. If I didn't burp 'allo' down the phone at them in a disinterested and bored fashion, they might call someone else instead. My profits could evaporate.'
Mackenzie and Shah are planning more surveys over the coming months, the results of which they also expect to buck convention and to show what Gulf consumers really want.
Next on their list is a poll focusing on car owners – with the majority of owners expected to prefer their local distributors not to keep common parts in stock. The reason? Waiting six weeks for a windscreen wiper to be delivered from Germany and paying a fortune for the privilege is 'all part of the fun of car ownership in the Gulf' – or so respondents are expected to confirm.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Toyota adapt flagship Camry model for Middle East
Toyota have announced that they are to adapt their flagship Camry model to make it better suited for Gulf based taxi fleets. The move was made after evaluating extensive customer feedback from drivers across the region.
'We realised that despite years of research being put into complex accelerator and braking technology, the results were essentially unnecessary and unwanted for the majority of taxi drivers,' explained Yamatasho Yamasaki, Toyota's Chief Engineer, at a recent press conference. 'Camrys purchased for use as taxis will now come with 'stop' and 'go' pedals in place of the current accelerator and brake pedals. When pressed, the 'go' button will accelerate the car as quickly as possible and the 'stop' pedal will apply the brakes fully'.
Yamasaki explained that the move matched the way drivers typically drove their vehicles. The simpler 'stop and go' mechanism would also lower the cost of the vehicle and be simpler to repair.
'Subtleties built into our current acceleration and braking mechanisms are designed to give drivers smooth and comfortable acceleration and safe, measured braking. Generations of Toyota engineers have contributed to these technologies,' he explained. 'It turns out the they are not needed and are routinely bypassed by heavy footed Gulf taxi drivers. We will remove them.'
Asked why it has taken so long to make this change, Yamasaki apologised for focusing more on passenger comfort in models that were popular as taxis and less on what matched the way taxi drivers liked to drive.
'Gulf taxi drivers like it full steam ahead or anchors on,' he said. 'The new 'stop and go' pedals reflect this. This move is overdue. For that we alone must take the brame.'
Drivers interviewed at a local mall's taxi rank welcomed the idea. Although none of them had personally been involved with the Toyota market research team, their views echoed Toyota's findings.
'A button for stop and go will save me time,' said Mr Khan, a taxi driver, originally from Peshawar. 'I drive anyway by pressing the accelerator all the way down or not at all, the same with the brakes. Customers like that as it's comfortable and fast'.
Other drives agreed with Mr Khan.
'A button saves time and we are always in a hurry,' said one driver. Asked how he would keep a steady speed on the motorway with only a stop and go option, the driver replied that he would do what he does today. 'I just press the accelerator down, then take my foot of, then down, then off. I do that anyway. Customers love it. I am driving 120Kms per hour and then dropping down to 105 and then going back up again, all the way down to the next city. Maintaining a steady speed is simply frustrating and boring for my passengers.'
This isn't the first time a Japanese manufacturer has adapted its product for the Gulf. In the mid 1990s Nissan released a new version of its leading 4x4, the Patrol. The previous model had accounted for 40% of new car sales in its class. The new model however, proved to be a disaster, accounting for only 5% of new sales in its class during its first three months.
The reason? A newly designed dashboard that had nowhere to place a box of tissues.
'Unlike older versions, the new model had nowhere to place tissues on the front dash,' explained David Pringle, Group Manager of Nissan's Gulf dealerships. 'Drivers here seem to need instant access to tissues in their cars at all time,' he added. 'We're not sure if people here create more mucus than in other countries, or why they need to wipe down their car interiors more often, but that's the way things are, it seems. Regardless, we have to cater to what customers want – tissues must be visible and easily accessible at all time.'
Nissan acted quickly. A modified design was quickly created, allowing tissue boxes to nestle happily on top of the dash, next to the windscreen. A special marketing campaign was launched, with new owners being offered a choice of gold trimmed tissue box holders, at no extra cost. Sales quickly returned to their original levels.
Toyota are also looking at other improvements for models targeted at the Gulf. A range of luridly coloured velour seat covers is expected to be offered directly from the vendor itself, as is a range of factory-fitted shag pile carpets for the top of drivers' dashboards. Most eagerly anticipated, according to Mr Yamasaki, are improved plastic covers for head rests and sun visors.
'We expect these plastic coverings to be a big hit,' he told reporters. 'New owners like resting their heads on plastic, particularly during the summer months. Plus, in twenty years' time, a Camry sold in the Gulf today will probably end up in Yemen, Nigeria or somewhere similar. When it does, its headrests will be completely pristine, as will the sun visors. This will mean a higher resale value, regardless of the condition of the rest of the car.'
Toyota's improvements are expected to increase their market dominance in the Gulf, with other manufacturers expected to follow suit with similar initiatives.
'We realised that despite years of research being put into complex accelerator and braking technology, the results were essentially unnecessary and unwanted for the majority of taxi drivers,' explained Yamatasho Yamasaki, Toyota's Chief Engineer, at a recent press conference. 'Camrys purchased for use as taxis will now come with 'stop' and 'go' pedals in place of the current accelerator and brake pedals. When pressed, the 'go' button will accelerate the car as quickly as possible and the 'stop' pedal will apply the brakes fully'.
Yamasaki explained that the move matched the way drivers typically drove their vehicles. The simpler 'stop and go' mechanism would also lower the cost of the vehicle and be simpler to repair.
'Subtleties built into our current acceleration and braking mechanisms are designed to give drivers smooth and comfortable acceleration and safe, measured braking. Generations of Toyota engineers have contributed to these technologies,' he explained. 'It turns out the they are not needed and are routinely bypassed by heavy footed Gulf taxi drivers. We will remove them.'
Asked why it has taken so long to make this change, Yamasaki apologised for focusing more on passenger comfort in models that were popular as taxis and less on what matched the way taxi drivers liked to drive.
'Gulf taxi drivers like it full steam ahead or anchors on,' he said. 'The new 'stop and go' pedals reflect this. This move is overdue. For that we alone must take the brame.'
Drivers interviewed at a local mall's taxi rank welcomed the idea. Although none of them had personally been involved with the Toyota market research team, their views echoed Toyota's findings.
'A button for stop and go will save me time,' said Mr Khan, a taxi driver, originally from Peshawar. 'I drive anyway by pressing the accelerator all the way down or not at all, the same with the brakes. Customers like that as it's comfortable and fast'.
Other drives agreed with Mr Khan.
'A button saves time and we are always in a hurry,' said one driver. Asked how he would keep a steady speed on the motorway with only a stop and go option, the driver replied that he would do what he does today. 'I just press the accelerator down, then take my foot of, then down, then off. I do that anyway. Customers love it. I am driving 120Kms per hour and then dropping down to 105 and then going back up again, all the way down to the next city. Maintaining a steady speed is simply frustrating and boring for my passengers.'
This isn't the first time a Japanese manufacturer has adapted its product for the Gulf. In the mid 1990s Nissan released a new version of its leading 4x4, the Patrol. The previous model had accounted for 40% of new car sales in its class. The new model however, proved to be a disaster, accounting for only 5% of new sales in its class during its first three months.
The reason? A newly designed dashboard that had nowhere to place a box of tissues.
'Unlike older versions, the new model had nowhere to place tissues on the front dash,' explained David Pringle, Group Manager of Nissan's Gulf dealerships. 'Drivers here seem to need instant access to tissues in their cars at all time,' he added. 'We're not sure if people here create more mucus than in other countries, or why they need to wipe down their car interiors more often, but that's the way things are, it seems. Regardless, we have to cater to what customers want – tissues must be visible and easily accessible at all time.'
Nissan acted quickly. A modified design was quickly created, allowing tissue boxes to nestle happily on top of the dash, next to the windscreen. A special marketing campaign was launched, with new owners being offered a choice of gold trimmed tissue box holders, at no extra cost. Sales quickly returned to their original levels.
Toyota are also looking at other improvements for models targeted at the Gulf. A range of luridly coloured velour seat covers is expected to be offered directly from the vendor itself, as is a range of factory-fitted shag pile carpets for the top of drivers' dashboards. Most eagerly anticipated, according to Mr Yamasaki, are improved plastic covers for head rests and sun visors.
'We expect these plastic coverings to be a big hit,' he told reporters. 'New owners like resting their heads on plastic, particularly during the summer months. Plus, in twenty years' time, a Camry sold in the Gulf today will probably end up in Yemen, Nigeria or somewhere similar. When it does, its headrests will be completely pristine, as will the sun visors. This will mean a higher resale value, regardless of the condition of the rest of the car.'
Toyota's improvements are expected to increase their market dominance in the Gulf, with other manufacturers expected to follow suit with similar initiatives.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Stark warning issued to inmates of Bahdobian's prisons
From the local press section.
Various Bahdobian residents, locals and expatriates alike, have the same message for those who find themselves incarcerated here – if you don't like it, leave.
Ali M, a Bahdobian passport holder, told the Herald that he is tired of prisoners complaining about their situation.
'They get food, accommodation, exercise and healthcare, every day, every year, all for free. Still, however, they complain. If they don't like it, they should just go back to their home country,' he grumbled. 'What more do they want? If their home countries were nice, they'd elect to go to prison there, so why come here and complain all the time?'
An expat who simply gave his name as 'Omar', describing himself as a professional contributor to ArabianBusiness.com's comments section, echoed Mr M's views.
'I for one am ready to help them pack their bags and drive them to the airport myself. They are just jealous of Bahdobian's success and expect an easy life in return for no effort,' he told this reporter. 'I will drive down there tomorrow, if asked, just to help them break out so that I can stop listening to them doing this place down,' he offered, fairly.
David Pringle, a long-term British resident of Bahdobian, had the following to say. 'The UK's prisons are full to bursting. If prisoners here aren't happy, they should see what they'd have to put up with at Wormword Scrubs, London's leading jail,' he opined. 'Some Brits come over here simply to commit crimes just so they can enjoy a bit of luxury chokey here in Bahdobian. Those inmates who are complaining should simply pack and go home to make room for people who appreciate what prison here has to offer,' he added.
The Herald used visiting hours at the local clink to see how prisoners would respond to accusations that they were a bunch of whingeing malingerers who should like their situation – or lump it.
Prisoner 8232, originally from Peshawar, told this reporter that he was quite happy where he was. 'I'm serving 16 years for reversing my truck into a lamp post', he said. 'I'm quite happy here though. I have what I need to live and even though I earn only a little money in the prison workhouse, I am still able to send some money back to my family.'
Other prisoners, many from the sub-continent, echoed 8232's thoughts, but did not realise they had a choice in the matter.
'I thought I was here for the next 18 months and had to put up with whatever was dished out to me,' said one lag, currently serving a short sentence for brutally beheading a relative. 'If I could leave, I probably would. To be frank, however, I would prefer to serve my sentence out, but just with a few more home comforts.'
Not all the prisoners we spoke to were of the same mind, however.
Jacques Dupont, a former corporate spy for the Association of French Garlic Farmers, was working in the prison's submarine building workshop when approached by the Herald. Dupont is serving the last few weeks of his sentence for embezzling government funds earmarked for a factory making stripey shirts and bicycles, but has no patience to wait for the parole board to review his case. 'I don't want to be here any more,' he shrugged. 'And I'm taking steps to change that. I could wait a couple of weeks till my hearing, but have other plans,' he offered, before leaning towards this reporter and winking conspiratorially. 'By next week I will be out of here, having escaped dressed as a woman, swum to Mumbai and started a new life selling my memoirs to the world'.
Prison authorities were unavailable for official comment.
Various Bahdobian residents, locals and expatriates alike, have the same message for those who find themselves incarcerated here – if you don't like it, leave.
Ali M, a Bahdobian passport holder, told the Herald that he is tired of prisoners complaining about their situation.
'They get food, accommodation, exercise and healthcare, every day, every year, all for free. Still, however, they complain. If they don't like it, they should just go back to their home country,' he grumbled. 'What more do they want? If their home countries were nice, they'd elect to go to prison there, so why come here and complain all the time?'
An expat who simply gave his name as 'Omar', describing himself as a professional contributor to ArabianBusiness.com's comments section, echoed Mr M's views.
'I for one am ready to help them pack their bags and drive them to the airport myself. They are just jealous of Bahdobian's success and expect an easy life in return for no effort,' he told this reporter. 'I will drive down there tomorrow, if asked, just to help them break out so that I can stop listening to them doing this place down,' he offered, fairly.
David Pringle, a long-term British resident of Bahdobian, had the following to say. 'The UK's prisons are full to bursting. If prisoners here aren't happy, they should see what they'd have to put up with at Wormword Scrubs, London's leading jail,' he opined. 'Some Brits come over here simply to commit crimes just so they can enjoy a bit of luxury chokey here in Bahdobian. Those inmates who are complaining should simply pack and go home to make room for people who appreciate what prison here has to offer,' he added.
The Herald used visiting hours at the local clink to see how prisoners would respond to accusations that they were a bunch of whingeing malingerers who should like their situation – or lump it.
Prisoner 8232, originally from Peshawar, told this reporter that he was quite happy where he was. 'I'm serving 16 years for reversing my truck into a lamp post', he said. 'I'm quite happy here though. I have what I need to live and even though I earn only a little money in the prison workhouse, I am still able to send some money back to my family.'
Other prisoners, many from the sub-continent, echoed 8232's thoughts, but did not realise they had a choice in the matter.
'I thought I was here for the next 18 months and had to put up with whatever was dished out to me,' said one lag, currently serving a short sentence for brutally beheading a relative. 'If I could leave, I probably would. To be frank, however, I would prefer to serve my sentence out, but just with a few more home comforts.'
Not all the prisoners we spoke to were of the same mind, however.
Jacques Dupont, a former corporate spy for the Association of French Garlic Farmers, was working in the prison's submarine building workshop when approached by the Herald. Dupont is serving the last few weeks of his sentence for embezzling government funds earmarked for a factory making stripey shirts and bicycles, but has no patience to wait for the parole board to review his case. 'I don't want to be here any more,' he shrugged. 'And I'm taking steps to change that. I could wait a couple of weeks till my hearing, but have other plans,' he offered, before leaning towards this reporter and winking conspiratorially. 'By next week I will be out of here, having escaped dressed as a woman, swum to Mumbai and started a new life selling my memoirs to the world'.
Prison authorities were unavailable for official comment.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
British expat arrested for 'sorcery' and 'black magic'
From the Herald's local press section.
A British expatriate, David Pringle, has been arrested by the authorities in Bahdobian's Northern Region and accused of committing 'sorcery' and 'black magic'.
The self-styled 'real estate sales consultant' was nabbed after tricking various people into believing he could turn their paltry property deposits into millions. Pringle promised his victims that, for a small outlay for 300,000BHDs, he would be able to give them back three to four times the original amount within three months.
Pringle would visit people at their homes in Bahdobian's Main District and show them brochures of fabulous buildings that he claimed would be built in the North within months. A small deposit, Pringle claimed, would secure 'investors' a cramped apartment or badly built villa in one of the developments. A few weeks later, Pringle would perform his black magic on the property, selling it on to someone else and presenting the original investor with three times the sum he had put in, minus Pringle's sorcery fee.
Hypnotised by tales of instant riches, Pringle found his victims eager to take part.
After parting with their cash and placing it in Pringle's large black-magic holdall, Pringle would go into a trance. Reciting tales of his other 'clients' who had made millions overnight buying cupboard-sized rooms in a high-rise next to a sewage plant, he would hold his hands over the money-stuffed bag, repeatedly winking at his victims, reciting 'flip it, flip it' and 'I'm gonna make you rich, darling, all right?'.
Pringle, a former hairdresser from Manchester before becoming a sorcerer and real estate sales consultant, would then disappear in a 2004 Porsche Boxter marked with the sign of the beast – a Manchester City sticker on one side of the rear bumper, set off by the Cross of St George on the other.
Early participants in Pringle's scheme claim they did see returns. Contacted by The Herald, Ray Cuthbert, also British, related that only two months after parting with his cash and watching Pringle perform his 'flipping ceremony', the cupboard he bought had tripled in value.
'Pringle visited me at my villa one afternoon in August 2008, a month or so after the flipping ceremony,' Ray told this paper. 'He placed the black-magic holdall on the floor in front of me. Then, telling me I could always trust a flipper, he bade me take a peek inside. I counted the money it contained and was thrilled to see that I had indeed tripled my investment. Pringle then took a share of the cash as his flipping fee. After his cut, taken in return for providing me with his magical powers, I took home a profit of around $200 on an investment of about $200,000,' he smiled.
'You can't argue with that,' he told us. 'Previously, I'd been skeptical about whether black-magic, sorcery and blind trust would make a good mix when it came to property investment , but now I have the proof'.
Not all of Pringle's victims were so lucky, however.
Gerhard Arschbacken's story was typical. After the flipping ceremony took place some time in October 2008, he never heard from Pringle again. He did, however, receive demands from the property company to keep up payments on the oddly shaped box room for which he had paid a deposit. Now worth a tenth of its original value, Arschbacken is in dire financial straits.
'I'm a fool,' he told us. 'I should have known that even someone with magical powers couldn't have turned my small deposit on a box room in a stretch of sand into millions of dollars. Pringle promised me that I could flip the apartment onto people like Sharon Stone or Beyonce. He said all sorts of high-flyers would want to live in my luxury cupboard. Astonishingly, they don't.'
Faced with financial ruin, Arschbacken's only hope is to sell a kidney in order to keep up the payments, renting out the finished one-bedroom box room to twenty labourers once it is finished in 2026.
Pringle, who has been placed in solitary confinement after trying to get his cellmates to invest in the exclusive southern corner of their prison cell, is expected to be charged later this week. His black magic holdall has been destroyed by Police, just in case.
A British expatriate, David Pringle, has been arrested by the authorities in Bahdobian's Northern Region and accused of committing 'sorcery' and 'black magic'.
The self-styled 'real estate sales consultant' was nabbed after tricking various people into believing he could turn their paltry property deposits into millions. Pringle promised his victims that, for a small outlay for 300,000BHDs, he would be able to give them back three to four times the original amount within three months.
Pringle would visit people at their homes in Bahdobian's Main District and show them brochures of fabulous buildings that he claimed would be built in the North within months. A small deposit, Pringle claimed, would secure 'investors' a cramped apartment or badly built villa in one of the developments. A few weeks later, Pringle would perform his black magic on the property, selling it on to someone else and presenting the original investor with three times the sum he had put in, minus Pringle's sorcery fee.
Hypnotised by tales of instant riches, Pringle found his victims eager to take part.
After parting with their cash and placing it in Pringle's large black-magic holdall, Pringle would go into a trance. Reciting tales of his other 'clients' who had made millions overnight buying cupboard-sized rooms in a high-rise next to a sewage plant, he would hold his hands over the money-stuffed bag, repeatedly winking at his victims, reciting 'flip it, flip it' and 'I'm gonna make you rich, darling, all right?'.
Pringle, a former hairdresser from Manchester before becoming a sorcerer and real estate sales consultant, would then disappear in a 2004 Porsche Boxter marked with the sign of the beast – a Manchester City sticker on one side of the rear bumper, set off by the Cross of St George on the other.
Early participants in Pringle's scheme claim they did see returns. Contacted by The Herald, Ray Cuthbert, also British, related that only two months after parting with his cash and watching Pringle perform his 'flipping ceremony', the cupboard he bought had tripled in value.
'Pringle visited me at my villa one afternoon in August 2008, a month or so after the flipping ceremony,' Ray told this paper. 'He placed the black-magic holdall on the floor in front of me. Then, telling me I could always trust a flipper, he bade me take a peek inside. I counted the money it contained and was thrilled to see that I had indeed tripled my investment. Pringle then took a share of the cash as his flipping fee. After his cut, taken in return for providing me with his magical powers, I took home a profit of around $200 on an investment of about $200,000,' he smiled.
'You can't argue with that,' he told us. 'Previously, I'd been skeptical about whether black-magic, sorcery and blind trust would make a good mix when it came to property investment , but now I have the proof'.
Not all of Pringle's victims were so lucky, however.
Gerhard Arschbacken's story was typical. After the flipping ceremony took place some time in October 2008, he never heard from Pringle again. He did, however, receive demands from the property company to keep up payments on the oddly shaped box room for which he had paid a deposit. Now worth a tenth of its original value, Arschbacken is in dire financial straits.
'I'm a fool,' he told us. 'I should have known that even someone with magical powers couldn't have turned my small deposit on a box room in a stretch of sand into millions of dollars. Pringle promised me that I could flip the apartment onto people like Sharon Stone or Beyonce. He said all sorts of high-flyers would want to live in my luxury cupboard. Astonishingly, they don't.'
Faced with financial ruin, Arschbacken's only hope is to sell a kidney in order to keep up the payments, renting out the finished one-bedroom box room to twenty labourers once it is finished in 2026.
Pringle, who has been placed in solitary confinement after trying to get his cellmates to invest in the exclusive southern corner of their prison cell, is expected to be charged later this week. His black magic holdall has been destroyed by Police, just in case.
Punctual tradesmen leave Bahdobian residents fuming
A recent outbreak of punctuality amongst Bahdobian based tradesmen has left many residents angry and out of pocket. Overwhelmed with complaints about appointments being kept and efficient service being provided, the Herald took a detailed look at the phenomenon.
Denzil Doonican, a British expat and resident Beachfront District, contacted this newspaper to complain after the AC repairmen he had booked turned up on time, fixed the problem in question and charged a reasonable amount for the service they provided.
'When my villa's AC stopped working at 4pm last Sunday afternoon, I immediately called my usual handymen,' he related. 'Naturally they said that they'd come around at eight on Monday morning. With temperatures in the villa reaching 40C, I booked myself into a hotel for three nights, fully expecting the guys to turn up randomly on Wednesday or Thursday after my calling them and screaming down the phone sometime on the Tuesday afternoon. Imagine my irritation when they called me at five to eight on Monday morning to say they were outside my villa as promised. I left my hotel to meet them and by nine they'd fixed the problem, handed me a legible invoice and left. Their punctuality and professionalism allowed me to move back to the villa that morning, which meant I had to forfeit my deposit on the hotel room I'd booked.'
Mr Doonican's final comments were damning. 'I'm furious,' he added. 'These guys turned up on time and did exactly what they were supposed to, ruining my plans for the week and leaving me considerably out of pocket.'
When her washing machine broke down three weeks ago, Mrs FG, an Indian expatriate, called the local distributor. 'My washing machine was still under warranty, so I called the number on the documents that came with it. The man on the phone took my details and said he'd send someone around the next morning at eight o'clock. He told me that something very simple had broken, that it happened all the time and that thanks to some common sense and good planning they had plenty of the parts in question in stock. Naturally, I immediately asked my husband to go out to the nearest white goods shop and purchase a replacement washing machine, as I couldn't wait 6 months for a common part to be shipped from Germany to Bahdobian.'
Mrs FG's presence of mind turned out to be expensive, however. 'My husband returned from work that evening with a brand new model. He and a friend then spent the whole evening removing the old one and driving it to the local dump. Imagine my rage, therefore, when the washing machine repairman turned up at 8 the next morning, spare part in hand, as promised. Thanks to their honesty and efficiency I ended throwing away a perfectly repairable piece of equipment and wasting a fortune buying a new one, all for no good reason. Why couldn't they have strung me along with vague promises for 6 months or so and then simply pretended they had no record of my original request, just as they've always done in the past?'
Gerhard Arschbacken from Germany wasn't overly distressed when the water heater in his Al Barsha villa began leaking on a Saturday morning. 'I've been living here for years,' he related humourlessly. 'Every time there's a problem, be it plumbing, electrical, AC related, structural, or metaphysical, the same man comes around with a small screwdriver, fails to fix the problem, but claims he has. Over the years we've become good friends. For the last 12 months, once he has come over at a random and inconvenient time, I've driven him to the tool shop, purchased the necessary equipment and shown him how to fix the problem myself. It's become a ritual that we both enjoy.'
On this occasion, however, Herr Arschbacken was in for a shock.
'At eight o'clock on Sunday morning, as promised, a qualified plumber appeared at my doorstep. He and his adequately stocked toolbox proceeded to my bathroom, replaced a dessicated rubber seal and left. I had to uncancel all the meetings I had cancelled at work for the following three days, which made me look unprofessional, plus I missed out on the bonding experience of the trip together to the tool shop. What was wrong with the way things were done before? It's change for change's sake and I don't like it!'
Irishman David O'Malley told us the shocking story of his recent furniture delivery. After ordering an oddly decorated wardrobe from a local shop and asking for it to be delivered the following morning at eight o'clock, David duly printed out five maps detailing the location of his apartment and left them at the shop for them to be given to the delivery van driver. He also crossed his fingers, hoping he wouldn't have anything too important to do at work that week when the delivery man called him unexpectedly from the wrong end of town without a clue where he was going.
David's expectations were not met. Instead of a week of frustration, unnecessary time taken off work and repeated descriptions of his location being given down the phone to multiple different people, his new wardrobe was delivered and fitted the following morning at 8 o'clock, as promised. David summed up his experience using words that cannot be published in a family newspaper.
Following phone calls to various handymen, delivery services and men with screwdrivers, this newspaper seems to have discovered the root cause of what has been annoying so many residents.
Mr Babu Ram, a tradesman based in Satwa, explained the situation as follows. 'Since long we have been following a simple system. When customer rings up to ask for our services, we would tell him we would be there are 8 o'clock the next morning. We would then simply carry on doing whatever we were doing, which would usually be what whoever shouted at us the most loudly wanted us to do. Eventually, after three or four days, people would either give up or scream so loudly at us that we'd drop what we were doing and proceed randomly to where we thought the customer was located, studiously ignoring the detailed directions written down on a piece of paper at the office.'
Recently, however, Mr Ram's life has been made hell. 'Our managers recently availed a training course. They now make us use things like calendars, tell us to set customer's expectations, stop saying 'yes' and 'no problem' to any request, write down locations properly, call ahead if we are going to be late and so on. All this has completely thrown us and our customers. As you mention, people are not happy. I myself am planning to switch back to darting around inefficiently from job to job once again, small screwdriver in hand, regardless of the task I need to carry out,' he grinned. 'I will also reinstate my random approach to charging customers and go back to scribbling randomly on any receipts I provide. Customers love that and everyone knows where he stands.'
Many residents are hoping Mr BR's sensible approach to service levels will be taken back up across the city and life can return to normal. Time will tell - and the Herald will carry regular reports updating our readers of any changes.
Denzil Doonican, a British expat and resident Beachfront District, contacted this newspaper to complain after the AC repairmen he had booked turned up on time, fixed the problem in question and charged a reasonable amount for the service they provided.
'When my villa's AC stopped working at 4pm last Sunday afternoon, I immediately called my usual handymen,' he related. 'Naturally they said that they'd come around at eight on Monday morning. With temperatures in the villa reaching 40C, I booked myself into a hotel for three nights, fully expecting the guys to turn up randomly on Wednesday or Thursday after my calling them and screaming down the phone sometime on the Tuesday afternoon. Imagine my irritation when they called me at five to eight on Monday morning to say they were outside my villa as promised. I left my hotel to meet them and by nine they'd fixed the problem, handed me a legible invoice and left. Their punctuality and professionalism allowed me to move back to the villa that morning, which meant I had to forfeit my deposit on the hotel room I'd booked.'
Mr Doonican's final comments were damning. 'I'm furious,' he added. 'These guys turned up on time and did exactly what they were supposed to, ruining my plans for the week and leaving me considerably out of pocket.'
When her washing machine broke down three weeks ago, Mrs FG, an Indian expatriate, called the local distributor. 'My washing machine was still under warranty, so I called the number on the documents that came with it. The man on the phone took my details and said he'd send someone around the next morning at eight o'clock. He told me that something very simple had broken, that it happened all the time and that thanks to some common sense and good planning they had plenty of the parts in question in stock. Naturally, I immediately asked my husband to go out to the nearest white goods shop and purchase a replacement washing machine, as I couldn't wait 6 months for a common part to be shipped from Germany to Bahdobian.'
Mrs FG's presence of mind turned out to be expensive, however. 'My husband returned from work that evening with a brand new model. He and a friend then spent the whole evening removing the old one and driving it to the local dump. Imagine my rage, therefore, when the washing machine repairman turned up at 8 the next morning, spare part in hand, as promised. Thanks to their honesty and efficiency I ended throwing away a perfectly repairable piece of equipment and wasting a fortune buying a new one, all for no good reason. Why couldn't they have strung me along with vague promises for 6 months or so and then simply pretended they had no record of my original request, just as they've always done in the past?'
Gerhard Arschbacken from Germany wasn't overly distressed when the water heater in his Al Barsha villa began leaking on a Saturday morning. 'I've been living here for years,' he related humourlessly. 'Every time there's a problem, be it plumbing, electrical, AC related, structural, or metaphysical, the same man comes around with a small screwdriver, fails to fix the problem, but claims he has. Over the years we've become good friends. For the last 12 months, once he has come over at a random and inconvenient time, I've driven him to the tool shop, purchased the necessary equipment and shown him how to fix the problem myself. It's become a ritual that we both enjoy.'
On this occasion, however, Herr Arschbacken was in for a shock.
'At eight o'clock on Sunday morning, as promised, a qualified plumber appeared at my doorstep. He and his adequately stocked toolbox proceeded to my bathroom, replaced a dessicated rubber seal and left. I had to uncancel all the meetings I had cancelled at work for the following three days, which made me look unprofessional, plus I missed out on the bonding experience of the trip together to the tool shop. What was wrong with the way things were done before? It's change for change's sake and I don't like it!'
Irishman David O'Malley told us the shocking story of his recent furniture delivery. After ordering an oddly decorated wardrobe from a local shop and asking for it to be delivered the following morning at eight o'clock, David duly printed out five maps detailing the location of his apartment and left them at the shop for them to be given to the delivery van driver. He also crossed his fingers, hoping he wouldn't have anything too important to do at work that week when the delivery man called him unexpectedly from the wrong end of town without a clue where he was going.
David's expectations were not met. Instead of a week of frustration, unnecessary time taken off work and repeated descriptions of his location being given down the phone to multiple different people, his new wardrobe was delivered and fitted the following morning at 8 o'clock, as promised. David summed up his experience using words that cannot be published in a family newspaper.
Following phone calls to various handymen, delivery services and men with screwdrivers, this newspaper seems to have discovered the root cause of what has been annoying so many residents.
Mr Babu Ram, a tradesman based in Satwa, explained the situation as follows. 'Since long we have been following a simple system. When customer rings up to ask for our services, we would tell him we would be there are 8 o'clock the next morning. We would then simply carry on doing whatever we were doing, which would usually be what whoever shouted at us the most loudly wanted us to do. Eventually, after three or four days, people would either give up or scream so loudly at us that we'd drop what we were doing and proceed randomly to where we thought the customer was located, studiously ignoring the detailed directions written down on a piece of paper at the office.'
Recently, however, Mr Ram's life has been made hell. 'Our managers recently availed a training course. They now make us use things like calendars, tell us to set customer's expectations, stop saying 'yes' and 'no problem' to any request, write down locations properly, call ahead if we are going to be late and so on. All this has completely thrown us and our customers. As you mention, people are not happy. I myself am planning to switch back to darting around inefficiently from job to job once again, small screwdriver in hand, regardless of the task I need to carry out,' he grinned. 'I will also reinstate my random approach to charging customers and go back to scribbling randomly on any receipts I provide. Customers love that and everyone knows where he stands.'
Many residents are hoping Mr BR's sensible approach to service levels will be taken back up across the city and life can return to normal. Time will tell - and the Herald will carry regular reports updating our readers of any changes.
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